Sugar Daddy Dating and Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison is a married dating website that allows regular people to find discreet connections, and among them, sugar daddy dating is one of those possibilities. Everyone wants something different from the dating world and this type of mutual arrangement has a fascinating history and alternative point of view in our modern age of connection. Could it be right for you?

In a feature, ‘The Independent’ interviewed representatives from sugar dating services to get to the essence of this ambiguously undefined relationship. One spokesperson sums it up as follows, "This style of dating isn’t for everyone, but it does help cut through the noise when trying to find someone who’s like-minded." (1)

Interesting! To further understand what “like-minded” means, let’s break down the ins and outs of the sugar dating world and take away some of the common stigma and ignorance that surrounds it.

What is Sugar Daddy Culture?

For most of us, the world of sugar daddy dating is a mysterious one. It involved dating with benefits- not traditional by any stretch of the imagination. Picture a scenario where a woman (typically younger) pairs up with a financially established man. From there, both would enjoy the fruits of the sugar lifestyle (luxuries) while also enjoying the mutual companionship, like all dating situations.

The lifestyle is the number one enjoyment for both parties. The woman may be thrusted into a world of access and excess, from shopping and parties to all the aesthetic luxuries and potential peace of mind that come from paid bills. Meanwhile the sugar daddy gets to show off his new companion and most importantly, enjoy her company.

What is a Sugar Daddy?

Usually the image of a late, great Hugh Hefner type will pop into our minds. Sometimes that’s accurate, but it doesn’t have to be a creepy old man going around propositioning women. The man, however, is older in this relationship archetype and he also has more money to treat his younger partner to a lifestyle that is obviously charming. Like any successful man, this is something that will attract a woman and hence the companionship becomes seamlessly smoother.

One longtime sugar daddy told the ‘Business Insider’ that from his experience, these men are a lot happier with the level of sincere companionship that develops.

“As a sugar daddy, you are in the honeymoon stage most of the time — you get treated well, you get lots of romantic evenings and you are seen as a savior of the women in distress and the facilitator of her better lifestyle.” (2)

What is a Sugar Baby?

This is the younger woman in the arrangement. The sugar baby is taking advantage of a lifestyle that they otherwise may not have access to without the mutual companionship that comes from the male counterpart.

One anonymous sugar baby explains that she is still as normal as a girl can be, and this is in fact what puts her sugar daddy partner at ease.

“I look like what I am, and the men like that,” Sophie said. “They want someone who doesn’t look like a bimbo.” (3)

The key theme here remains mutual companionship that is undoubtedly beneficial, and as one sugar baby tells ‘The Miami New Times,’ the name of the game is “relationship.”

"I think of it as a relationship, and if you're into a relationship like with a boyfriend, you guys go on dates, you guys do things for each other, he buys stuff, you guys buy things for each other," Mariah explains. "It's just different because this person has a lot of money." (4)

Absolutely Not Prostitution

This is where most people get confused by the lack of clarity behind what the companionship entails for the young woman. What is certain is the distinct difference between sugar dating and prostitution.

Tanza Loudenback of Business Insider defines the difference eloquently,
“A prostitute not only offers sex acts for money and sees multiple men a day, but that's how she makes her living. A sugar baby wants an ongoing relationship. She wants a guy who she can get along with. She wants what a girlfriend or wife might get if they found a well-off man. She has a job that mostly pays her bills, but she is looking to improve her lifestyle. And she does not talk about sex for money.” (2)

Bingo! This leads to the natural conclusion that this is about a relationship, not a legal sexual exchange with a desperate woman. Here, the companionship that the man seeks is for debate and is subjective by nature, left as a private matter from relationship to relationship. However, we cannot judge these women any harsher than we would a wife that marries rich.

A New Perspective on Morals

Of course, it is human nature to judge people by their differences in relationship lifestyles and sexual preferences, but as Melanie Berliet writes in a fascinating Vanity Fair feature, mutual arrangements with benefits has always been very much a part of human nature.

“To overcome my reservations about walking the line between dating and prostitution, I told myself that any such concerns were the result of societal conditioning. The idea that mixing money and mating is inherently bad, I reasoned, was a fallacy based on our collective obsession with moralizing sex.”

She goes on to dissect evolutionary instincts. “Mating rituals involving the exchange of gifts—be they hunks of meat, small fishes, or diamond rings—are ingrained in many species, from apes to seabirds, to humans. It is only natural for males to target cues to fertility such as youth and beauty, and for females to be drawn to displays of resources.“ (6)

Ashley Madison Connects the Like-Minded

This isn’t for everybody, but it is for many. Ashley Madison provides a dating platform where you can approach your needs with discretion. When filling out your profile, be honest about your needs, hobbies and preferences. It’s your experience, make it as memorable as you can.

Sources & References:

  1. Inside the Murky world of Sugar Dating - The Independent
  2. Sugar daddy explains why he dates sugar babies - Business insider, Tanza Loudenback
  3. How sugar daddies are financing college education - Caroline Kitchener
  4. Florida Students Choose Sugar Daddies Over Loan Debt - The Miami New Times
  5. Desperately Seeking Sugar Daddies - Melanie Berliet, Vanity Fair