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WHAT’S A 'NO STRINGS ATTACHED' RELATIONSHIP?

A no strings attached relationship, “NSA” for short, is glorious, and can be a most blissful sexual experience. Based purely on carnal need and desire, two or more people enter with no expectations, and hence no complications.

In a nutshell:

  • it's all about sex - with no long-term commitment.
  • outside of the time spent together, no expectations of anything affectionate.
  • time well-spent, mutual attraction, and spontaneous sexual energy.
  • a meeting that ends in sexual gratification - heck, that's all it's about.
    (it can be a healthy, uplifting and energizing part of your life)
  • finally, and most of all it's about: having fun, and enjoying all that life has to offer!

Whether in a committed relationship or single, a person can bring a bit of excitement into her or his life with a little bit of NSA. Single people find these arrangements to be free from the confines of responsibility or commitment. People in long-term partnerships often seek out discreet encounters because the spark is gone in their relationship. Whatever the reason though, a no-strings situation could put the bounce back in your step. It can be the ultimate satisfaction for the unfulfilled, and an adventure for the venturesome. A NSA relationship can be a good way to spice things up, live it up, and shake things up. We're all human and have needs. A no-strings arrangement can give us some passion, without the heavy price tag of a commitment.

You can find an NSA online at AshleyMadison.com.

 

WHO WOULD BE INTERESTED IN NSA?

Perhaps a better question would be: who wouldn't?

People from just about every walk of life have thought about sex with no commitment:

NSA implies no commitment good times

Married men, and of course married women

A marriage can be the most wonderful time of a person's life - that’s why we go into it, right? The love, passion and support is what we all want, on some level.

However, not every marriage is a fairytale. Time, children, money woes, tedium and the daily grind of trying to keep the wheels going can wear one down. Seeking a discrete exciting distraction outside of the marital bedroom is nothing new, and is something that people do when they feel trapped, lonely or sad. Maybe you’ve grown apart, or you weren’t meant to be together in the first place. Perhaps you’re a lonely wife because your husband works too much, spends too much time with buddies or he’s stuck in a TV rut. Could you be not sleeping together anymore?

Are you a married man still in love with your wife, but want more? Do you want to stop the depressing merry-go-round that your life has become, and get re-energized?

Attached, but interested in trying something new

You may be in a committed relationship, and interested in something fun and non committal. You might wish to experiment with role-playing, but unsure if your girlfriend would like it. Some people want to practice a new sexual position, or learn a sexual technique.

An NSA experience can be exciting, as you don’t need to worry about judgement from your peers. You can have fun without obligation, enjoy your sexuality, and do something different.

People in between relationships … or fresh out of a relationship

Coming out of a bad relationship, or any relationship actually, can be traumatic and confusing. And, even though the love isn’t there, you are still human, with human needs. You’re not ready for another relationship, but having something casual, fun and non committal could be just what the doctor ordered.

Sometimes we need to take time for ourselves, but this doesn’t necessarily mean we need to deprive ourselves of sexual pleasure.

An NSA can help you get that much-needed sexual connection without commitment. It’s a chance to grow, heal and try something new. It’s an opportunity to refine our taste, and determine what we want in an ideal partner.

Couples looking to add a third partner

Threesomes aren’t only talked about in trusted circles anymore, and adding dimensions to a relationship is not necessarily a bad thing. As couples become more open about sex, sexuality, and their own desires: an encounter with a third person can become a fun idea. Couples in healthy relationships sometimes bring someone new into their bedroom for a bit of spice. Married dating has become more popular in recent years. Open marriages/relationships also appear to be growing in popularity.

If you and your beloved want to explore this option, Ashleymadison.com can help you find hookups in your local area. Everyone can communicate freely and privately, setting boundaries and expectations.

People too busy for anything else

Sometimes your career and your interests can cut into the time that you should devote to a relationship. Sleep and work doesn’t leave much time for a relationship, and if you are currently involved with someone who is demanding of your time, maybe not as supportive of your goals as they should be, or who doesn’t even understand why you are reaching for the stars: some NSA can give you the sexual satisfaction you need without divesting time which ought to be put elsewhere. Sometimes some NSA is just what the the doctor should have ordered.

WHERE CAN YOU FIND AN NSA ARRANGEMENT?

If you’ve decided that you want a no strings encounter… where should you start?

Dating agencies

Most dating agencies focus on matchmaking – making that long-term connection between two people happen. That’s not what an NSA is about. Dating agencies have their place: for those interested in getting tangled in strings.

Dating apps

There are a lot of great dating apps out there, but like agencies, they have the same goal in mind. They are about dating, finding someone compatible. And, while it’s possible that you could find someone to join you in a no strings adventure, chances are slim, because pretty much everyone else on there is looking for something special, not a sexual pairing (or trio). There are married dating apps for Android and IOS which can bring you into the no strings realm, but those are few and far between.

Bars and clubs

You can go out to the clubs to have a good time with the girls or guys, just to get out and have some fun.  Or, you can go out to find that one night stand - that little bit of “sumthin’ sumthin’”. The good thing about bars and clubs is that many of the people there are looking for the same thing you are, and you can pick up someone for a random night. But, don’t expect a one-night stand that you pick up at a bar to be the person who will enter into a longer-term NSA with you.

Websites

The internet can often be the best option. Ashleymadison.com is a local NSA website that provides all of the tools you’ll likely need. With well past fifty million member accounts since inception - you can search for people that are looking for what you’re after. Whether you're looking for someone to talk to, someone to enhance or complete what is lacking in your current relationship, or find a match for a night, or for a longer term non-committed fling. Sex dating is a popular means of finding someone compatible for some no strings fulfillment.

Your Social Circle

Be careful when you look for a no strings partner among your circle of friends. This could turn out great, or it could destroy a valuable friendship.

The people you hang out with are people you actually like. Risking the possibility of destroying a friendship for the sake of sexual gratification is probably not a good idea. If you know someone who is open enough to venture into it with you, and whose friendship you won’t lose after it ends, then go for it. This would usually be classified a friends with benefits (fwb) situation.

NSA - TIPS & BEST PRACTICES

While the idea of a NSA relationship is tempting, with no commitment and just sexual satisfaction, there are some practices you should follow when getting on board. Take heed lovers, and follow these best practices:

Be up front about what you want

There is nothing worse than lying- so don’t. Be honest with your intended sex buddy. Set some boundaries and some ground rules (for yours and your partner's protection) to make sure that things go smoothly during the relationship and that everyone plays nice when things do come to an end.

If you want to see others while you are seeing this person, let her or him know. If you have certain things you like and dislike, favored positions, toys and certain limits, let the other know. Demand the same of your partner. It’s important that you are both on the same page. No surprises means no disappointments. Even though there is no commitment, you need to respect each other.

Don’t get jealous

Keep the green-eyed monster out of your get-togethers. Even if you are jealous about the other people your buddy is seeing, getting emotional about the relationship will usually result in misery. If jealousy does creep in, and you start fighting, say goodbye. Everyone will be better off.

Realize that this likely will come to an end at some point … no strings relationships usually have an expiry date. This is about enjoying each other, your bodies, your touches, orgasms and just feeling great in the moment. It will come to an end, and life will be easier if the split is amicable.

Remember – no commitment, no expectations

This is non-committal – it’s all about the sex. There is no love, no missing the other person, no hand-holding, no special looks, no presents, and no cute texts. You’re not a couple.

Play safe

This is a no-brainer. The two of you (or three, if that's your thing) may be in agreement that you will pursue the NSA relationship, but both of you will probably be seeing other people. You both need to use protection when you are together (and preferably when you’re with others). Not only do you have to worry about dreaded diseases that require a doctor’s treatment, you also run the risk of an unwanted pregnancy.

Shhh…keep it secret

Keeping a discreet encounter a secret is very important, whether you have a committed relationship outside of the NSA relationship or not. Even though it's all fun, with no commitment, there are still consequences if you're not careful. If you’re in a committed relationship, letting the wrong people in on your secret could be disastrous. People holding secrets slip up without meaning to, and you could suffer in the end.

Keep it cool

Always keep a cool and level head. If you act differently around your spouse or partner, suspicions could arise and you could be reaching for explanations.

That said, put some planning into this, particularly if you are in a committed relationship. Always have an alibi, and plan to know what to say if someone asks questions.

Hold your head up, and smile!

We tend to worry about what others think of us. But if you do want an NSA experience, don’t let someone or something stand in the way.

Enjoy it - don’t judge yourself. Let all of that go, because this is for you. Make sure you’re happy and satisfied, and do the same for your partner. Try new things and explore – this is research and development at its most awesome.

CASUAL NO STRINGS SEX: PROCEED WITH CAUTION

A no strings attached encounter may be the ultimate pleasure, but it can also be ultimately complicated. Nothing is ever risk-free. These discreet relationships can be just as difficult as the loving, committed ones that most people strive for, because we’re human and we’re fallible. So, don’t fall into these traps:

Getting that loving feeling

Even though it’s just supposed to be sex, that intimacy can lead to affection. When we hook up, we normally do it with somebody who we are physically attracted to. And, with an NSA, even though you only have sex, both of you do consider what the other wants during your time together. Sometimes, one person may want more, leaving the other looking for an escape route.

Jealousy

Intimacy with someone else, even in this situation, can lead to jealousy. You may not want that person to see others, and you can’t really tell them to knock it off because you both agreed that seeing others was part of the package. Whether you don’t want the other person to spend time with others, or if you get upset because your buddy wants to be elsewhere, jealousy can be the downfall of your relationship.

Thinking less of yourself

Because society tells us that the only real relationship is one based on love, you may feel bad about having something that is solely carnal, with no emotion, no feeling or love for the other person. And, if you’re a woman, those feelings of guilt and unease at pleasing yourself are multiplied. Women are told to be good girls, to save themselves until marriage, and they are sometimes judged. Stressing over this type of relationship could lead to you losing some self-respect – an unwarranted feeling, but it’s tough to stop how one feels.

STI’s and pregnancy

Always use protection, but even with protection, you always take a risk. Condoms break, or things get out of hand as passion overtakes us. Because you don’t know what your buddy is doing outside of your bed, you have to stay safe. But, nothing is 100% and you do run the risk of a sexually-transmitted infection (STI) or an unwanted pregnancy.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF NSA

Once upon a time, people married young, had sex only when they were married, and had children within said marriage. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, it was common for a young man to call upon his intended at her home. Parents watched over the lovers during the courtship, lest something as explicit as an ankle be shown. In the 1950’s dating became the norm. Dinner and a movie, or time spent out was the way that two people got to know each other.

But, as the more liberal 1960’s and 1970’s came, young people were willing to challenge societal rules. The invention of birth control gave men and women the freedom to have goals, careers and sex outside of marriage. The match-up game changed, and hooking up became a way for people to free themselves from what was expected of them.

Hooking up has turned into a great way for people to explore their own sexuality, work towards their personal goals and pleasure themselves without the bother of a relationship.

We’ve changed our perspective. Dating and mating is no longer the goal. Sex and then (maybe) mating is the new norm. And in the 21st century, you can hookup easily through texting and through sites such as Ashleymadison.com.