What drives normal people to have an extramarital affair?
It's the great temptation, and it's been happening for millennia. Since mankind came up with the institution of marriage, there have been men and women breaking that pact by succumbing to the allure of infidelity. It’s been written in books, sung in songs and expressed in film, so is cheating part of human nature? Society has emphatically stated that it is absolutely not.
In fact, humans decided that adultery is so not okay that even the Bible dedicated two whole commandments to making unfaithful acts a sin.
But let’s be honest, that was thousands of years ago before we had knowledge of psychology or science and google wasn’t even a twinkle in a developer’s eye yet. Well…nothing technological had any twinkle in anybody’s eye yet and information was as reliable as a rich guy in a motel. Humans were basically savages, and the institution of marriage was a way to establish a sense of societal structure, cultural blueprint and perhaps most importantly, economic security.
Fast forward to today and we seemingly live in an alternate dimension. We marry because we forge our security with another person on an emotional level, and meanwhile, our economic stability is no longer a matter of life or death. For newer generations, just the idea of marriage makes some people cringe. So then what? Are people avoiding marriage or is there a new paradigm out there for the rules of marriage?
We can point to the concept of open marriages, a discussion that is both taboo and fascinating to the mainstream. This 2017 article(3) in the New York Times looks at the happiness possibilities with non-monogamous couples and the reasons why an extramarital affair becomes a serious possibility.
Part of this mesmerizing world of married dating is the role that technology plays by making discreet hookups easier than ever with online affair sites. Apps and websites are so common for singles in hookup culture that the word on safe places to cheat has spread to the curious, and evidently unsatisfied, older married but looking demographic.
But first let’s take a step back by inserting the scratch record sound real quick. For those with a more traditional view of marriage, the sheer thought of free affair websites can cause intense disgust. So then the deed happens and is the cause of serious psychological damage.
Yet, even people who report happy marriages still give in to the thrill of illicit marital affairs.
Is there any hope to surviving an affair? Exactly what do married men want from affairs and better yet, do married women only want emotional affairs? The rabbit hole gets deep.