There are few things which will make someone more happy then getting all their needs met. It's almost like having the food, sleep and sex that you need will just make everything a little bit more bright. You're going to see the colours as brighter and that jerk who just cut you off in traffic won't get the finger from you. You'll have birds suddenly appearing every time you think about just how great your life is going.
Even when things are stressful, studies have shown that people who have an active sex life react differently to stressors around them. Those who are fulfilling their hierarchy of needs don't react as negatively to things that aren't positive in their lives.
Marriage, as we all know can be a stressful thing and it's even more stressful if your needs aren't being met. It is because of this that we are pro-affair. While some people think that affairs exclusively break marriages, there is also a large potential to save them which has gone mostly ignored and untapped by the naysayers. There is kind stress, the stress of trying to match up two schedules compounded by work stress, social stress and the natural friction of two people who spend a lot of time together. These stresses can be eased by having all of your needs fulfilled, but more often than not they aren't.
To put couples counselling into the mix or to have the bitter, dragged out fights doesn't help the stress that is at the core of the problem.
While marriage itself and the institution of it has many problems which have not translated well into the modern world, infidelity is a symptom of married people who aren't having their emotional or physical needs met. While we are not able to say who is right or wrong in this situation and we are not here to judge, here are some things that you shouldn't do if you think your spouse is cheating.
If you’re going to confront your spouse about what you think they’re doing, you’d better have some evidence and you’d better go about it civilly. They might have a very good reason for what they’re doing and you can work to fix your relationship so there would be no need for extramarital affairs. If you go at someone who is feeling the stress when you’re angry, however, you’re going to end up starting a fight that both of you will be left bloody over. So take a deep breath and even if you’re angry, try to keep it at bay for this one talk.
If you’re going to hire someone to spy on your spouse, then you might as well go to divorce court right now. The trust is not there and to go to this extreme with it, there’s no point in even continuing with your marriage. The reasons why people would cheat are layered and complex, but if you’re at the point where your communication has broken down to the point where a private investigator is needed… That’s why there are extra-marital affairs.
It’s hard not to do and we know this, but thinking about it and agonizing over each detail is just going to leave the two of you feeling more stressed than ever before. This is particularly true when it comes to the person who is being cheated on. Take some time to clear your mind and go do what is relaxing to you so you can put things in perspective. Go to a spa, play some golf, whatever it is that you would find to be relaxing.
Affairs aren’t something which are generally entered into lightly and this needs to be taken into consideration when it comes to rough marital patches. Sometimes all someone needs is a single fling before they’re able to return to their marriage refreshed and committed.