As the weather gets warmer there is really only one thing on people’s mind. Ice cream. One thing you’ll notice while standing in line for your own double scoop waffle cone is the clientele is incredibly diverse, as diverse as the flavour options you might say. This got us thinking. Are there any consistent patterns between ice cream flavour preference and personality characteristics? We took a look at our members’ info and this is what we found.
The Classics: Vanilla, Strawberry, Chocolate (peripherals: black cherry, butterscotch, mint chip)
We found that these men will describe their look as timeless. These men know what they like and won’t be swayed by trends or peer pressure. While “vanilla” can sometimes mean boring and unoriginal, it can also mean charming and romantic, these men find value in chivalry and will hold the door open for a woman like a real, goddamn gentlemen. They also admit they are less inclined to sexual positions where eye contact is limited because it lacks intimacy. Well we’ll be damned.
The Novelty Flavours: Rolo, Cotton Candy, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Super Kid, Tiger Tail
Generally, any flavour that is three different colours of neon is dangerous. Like a moth to the light, or a child to a piece of tin foil, these men are slightly immature and childish. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. While they might goof around more than most guys , they also find great joy in seeing the sunny side to most situations and will be able to joke around and lighten the most awkward of situations. These men don’t have dealbreakers, it’s just not the way they think.
Flavours like moose tracks and cookie dough are for those who don’t know what they want. Often plagued by extreme FOMO, these guys are over consumers and reckless decision makers. Less is more has no bearing on these men. We found these men have insatiable sex drives and have an inflated sense of sexual prowess.
The Old Man Flavours: Rum N’Raisin, Maple Walnut, Pralines N’Cream
Similar to the classic flavours, these men were found to have some old fashioned ideas about life, which again, can be fine and dandy. However, these flavours might remind you a little too much of your grandfather when he’s driving 35 in a 50 zone and flippin’ “punks” the bird. These guys admit to be penny pinchers so don’t be surprised if these guys bitch about how expensive the damn ice cream cones are and how he could probably make ice cream himself in his basement. Go ahead and try. We dare you.
Exceptions: Milkshakes, Banana Splits, Frozen Yogurt
Milkshakes: Men who like milkshakes are the shit. Why? Because milkshakes are delicious. They really are, they don’t make a mess and are a smooth classy alternative to the cone. We found that men who love milkshakes are success driven Type A personalities, personal hygiene being a very high priority when choosing a partner.
Banana Splits or Sundaes: Those who preferred banana splits and sundaes admitted to be over-eaters and admitted to finding comfort in food. While often very lovable and eager to share, these men would often pick eating over any other activity. Even sometimes over sex. We suggest you combine the two.
Frozen Yogurt: Most men that favoured frozen yogurt tended to be more body and weight conscious. Often people who have lost weight in their later years and are too freakin’ terrified to put cream in their bodies.