Dating a coworker or dating within your office is something that is a known taboo. In fact, there are even some people who fetishize the experience so that they can get their rocks off with an office fantasy, but the truth of the matter is that dating a coworker generally isn’t the way to go. Why? Because you’re mixing two spheres of your life that really shouldn’t overlap. Now it’s impossible to keep your personal life out of work. While that’s the ideal thing to do, you’re always going to have work friends or come in some days not at your best because you’re sick or you had a fight with your spouse.
This is understandable and some people take that to mean that it’s okay to date within your workplace too. The problem with bringing the romantic sphere of your life in contact with the work sphere is that by doing so any issues in one sphere is going to inevitably affect the other one. Say you’re having troubles at home and you decide that you want to have an affair with your coworker. Wrong. Don’t. Abort.
One, it’s far too easy to get caught in an office affair. You might think that you’re being sneaky about hiding it or doing a good job, but in truth you’re probably not. There’s body language, the attention spent on people and since you spend so much time with your coworkers they’re often better at unconsciously reading you than you might think. If they know that you’re married and see that you’re suddenly spending more time with a certain person in the office or conversely, going out of your way to avoid spending time with someone in the officer during business hours, it’s going to raise red flags.
We’re also in an era where everything is scrutinized. Your Facebook is scrutinized, your work ethic is looked at. If you’ve got a twitter, people are probably looking at that. There are far too many ways to slip up if you’re with a coworker because it’s not just your actions that you need to watch while having an office affair, but your coworker’s as well.
Two, affairs eventually end. It’s rare that an affair goes on indefinitely and eventually, you’re going to want to bring it to a close. Now, doing so is going to be hard with an office affair. Why? Because the only good thing about a regular break up is generally you can go some time without having to see them again. This gives you time to sort yourself and your feelings out. There is no time for that when you’re indulging in an office affair. When an affair like that ends, there’s nothing for you to do but shoulder the burden of it as best you can because you can’t let on that you were having an affair in the first place. If you’re lucky and there’s no bad blood between you and your affair partner, you’ll mostly be able to shrug this off and it will be uncomfortable at worst.
If there is bad blood though… be prepared for a world full of pain. Office gossip is a fact of life and can determine promotions. If you’ve ever spoken badly to your affair partner about other people in the office, that can and will get out. If you’ve ever broken the rules like said you had a meeting while you were going out to have sex or wanted to do something naughty in the office, that will probably get out too. The best case scenario in this situation is that both of you look bad rather than just you, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re going to look bad.
The third and last thing that you want to think of when it comes to having an office affair is that it’s going to affect your performance at work. Affairs can be consuming and when you can’t escape the person you’re having an affair with then your thoughts are going to be centered around them most of the time. Your productivity will most likely fall while you’re having your affair and then plummet should the affair ever end. There’s worries and anxieties about getting caught which will be amplified within an office because everyone knows your affair partner. These things will eat away at your work quality slowly and more than that, might end up adding to your stress which is what you wanted to get away from by having the affair in the first place.
So if you’re thinking of having an office affair… Just don’t do it.
Read: How to End an Affair