We love watching it when the world gets a little more real. Whether it’s a heated debate or people throwing punches, there’s something about heated discussions or arguments that gets us interested. Maybe it’s because when there’s a heated argument it means that there’s a passion there that we can tap into. That passion fascinates people and we have this tendency to tune in. This is part of the reason why reality shows are becoming more ridiculous with each passing year and that for ratings, the shows tend to focus on the worst of people rather than sending a more positive message.
The same can be true when we focus in on affairs. A lot of people only see the bad without the possible good connotations of it. We’re so wedded (I don’t regret this pun at all) to the idea of monogamy that it can be hard to see past it to the other options that are available. The media is saturated with ideas of a single love for a lifetime and there is little representation of the other kinds of relationships that aren’t shown in a negative light.
Throw away your guilt though, having an extramarital doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you a good person either. The sooner that we can throw away these morally relativistic judgments about what people do within their marriages, the sooner we’ll be able to move past the near-sighted and knee jerk reactions that people have to alternate forms of marriage. Having an extramarital affair means nothing more than you’re a person who has unsatisfied needs. Whether they be sexual, emotional or even spiritual, it’s hard to say who’s a good person and who isn’t one simply because of what they choose to do inside (or outside) of their marriage bed.
There are some movies that we’ve noted have extramarital affairs at the core of them, but when these affairs are shown in a positive light, efforts are made to demonize the men/women who are being cheated on. This simplistic view of what is truly a pluralistic choice is part of what can make extramarital affairs so hard to understand for some people. There is obviously a demand for them, a need which AshleyMadison.com caters to, but we never get past that to look at the root causes of what drives a person to want to have an extramarital affair.
As long as affairs are splashed across the headlines as trashy media fodder and the adulterers shamed by the pundits, it will be hard to get an honest answer about that. The sensationalism about affairs is hard to ignore, however, and we can get drawn in without meaning to be. Look at the celebrity scandals. Even if we don’t want to know about it, it’s almost inevitable that we will simply because other people are talking about it. It may be that the world is changing too quickly for us to change with it, so we cling to the remnants of a bygone age, but those who are proponents of monogamy need to understand that there have always been these alternative relationship choices. They aren’t new to us even though their growing popularity is becoming more noticeable as time passes.
So when asked the question, to have an affair or not to have an affair…
The answer is “Whatever feels right for you”.