There are some stumbling blocks when it comes to dating and the two most crucial of those are the first impression and the first date. If you come up to a woman and crudely proposition her before asking her for her number right away then you’ve failed the first impression, but for the most part, the problems that come along with first impressions can be fixed by using common sense and not being wasted when you talk to women. It is the first date where things can become a little tricky.
The first date is your chance to either seal the deal and ensure further dates or to crash and burn so we asked both around our office and polled some of our members to see what they are looking for in terms of a first date.
One thing that should be kept in mind throughout this article however is that every woman we spoke to said that a first date which went badly would ensure that they would not see that man again while men were more lenient with any faux pas that a woman might commit. These answers have been cobbled together so that the women and men polled are speaking as a collective rather than a single individual and the men always had shorter answers.
Women: The perfect first date? There’s no such thing, really, but you want to be able to get to know a person so it shouldn’t be too fancy. If you’re too fancy then it just kind of feels overbearing and pretentious. You want to go to a place where you can relax and still have a good conversation going so you can get a sense of what type of person they are. Movies can work too, but only if they’re preceded or followed by somewhere where you can talk to a person. Do not try to put your arm around someone on a first date though. The closest thing to a perfect first date would probably be going somewhere for dinner and then having something fun, but not stressful to do afterward.
Men: Something simple would be perfect for a first date. We could go for dinner and drinks, maybe for a hike or star-gazing.
Women: A hike? Alone when we don’t know you? Think again, sweetheart. Save the hike and star-gazing for when we’re further along and you want to surprise us.
Men: Out of the box. Definitely. Women love it when you surprise them.
Women: Traditional dates are better for the first date. On a first date we want to focus on you as a person and not the date. We don’t want to be distracted by the date or else we won’t be able to have a good handle on who you are which could kill your chances of a second date.
Men: What if we throw in little aspects of creativity?
Women: Then that would be fine, just make sure that it doesn’t end up distracting from or discouraging conversation.
Women: There are men who want to go all out for their dates and they end up trying to impress us too much with their creativity or their money or their taste. All it does is tell us that you’re showing off. We want to talk to you and see if there’s a connection there, but if you’re talking to yourself too much then that’s not going to work. Men who speak about their ex-girlfriends or wives on the first date are also definitely out. We want you to be there for us, not with this angry ghost memory hanging over everything. Don’t forget to ask questions about us so we can engage in the conversation as well.
Men: Women who try too hard. Women who are too emotional.
Women: That’s it?
Men: Pretty much.
Women: And here we thought it would be more difficult.
Men: Well, you already said a lot of it so why repeat it?
Do you think these answers from our members make sense as advice for a first date? Comment below or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to have your input!