There are all kinds of sex toys these days. As people are able to order things more discreetly from the internet, you'll find all sorts of dildos popping up that you didn't even know existed. We've seen some very strange ones over the years, so we thought that we would collect them here for those of you who wanted to spice up their extramarital affair in a big bad way.
These are the weirdest Dildos that we could find, but if you think you've got better, we'd love to hear about it.
Coming to us courtesy of Fleshlight.com, the most amazing thing about the zombie dildo is the amount of attention that's put into it. The Zombie dildo really looks like its skin is rotting away to show the muscle underneath and if that doesn't get you going, well, we guess choices are limited when it comes to the zombie apocalypse.
This is a bad-dragon product and on its website it talks about a creature that has “soft, forgiving flesh, unlimited dexterity and the insatiable need to fill the holds of any creature that comes near”, but does admonition that all tentacles are not rapists. There is a strange fascination that people have with the tentacle rape porn that comes from Japan and if you haven't seen it, well it's probably for the best, but if your extramarital affair partner likes stranger things, then this is probably your best shot.
So this is pretty much as advertised. If you've always wanted to be with something incredibly supernatural, here is a dragon penis for you and your affair partner to get your rocks off with. The larger of the sizes for this dildo even has an option for you to be able to eject lubricant out of it to simulate the dragon's orgasm. Since this is one of their most popular products it is highly customizable and can be built to order.
When we were first sent a picture of these we couldn't figure out what it was to be honest. This is probably the closest you're ever going to be able to get to legal bestiality and if that's your thing…. well at least you're not doing it to actual animals? The colouring and even the knot are pretty realistic so we've been told. It makes us wonder how close the people were looking at dog penises to make this, but on second thought, we're okay not knowing. On the site, they say that they're the “highest quality, most realistic animal dildos available” so… yay?
We couldn't think of what to call this, but it looks like something out of this world or like something went incredibly wrong. It is called the Andromede, but it looks more than a little odd. There are bumps growing out of the side and the information about the dildo on the website says that it feels interesting and weird, but the people who have tried it apparently love it and once you get past the bumps you're never going to feel more full than you'd be hard put to find something better.
Who hasn't wanted to be romanced by a whale? Especially one with a pedigree like Moby Dick? It is an anatomically correct whale penis that is 14 inches long and while they say it is for novelty use only they're pretty detailed about the specs of it. While you're on the page you can look at all the other besdiality items that people are buying so you don't miss out. You know, if you're into that.
Do you love Jesus? Do you have a really religious affair partner who wants to become closer to the Lord? Then you could always get her a Jackhammer Jesus. It's a dildo that has Jesus crucified on it and you can use it to come close to God while spending some quality time on your own. The website claims that “Jesus was a carpenter, now he's the powertool”. There's also Buddha and Shiva products for those of you who are not Christian and for the truly irreverent there's also a Baby Jesus Butt Plug. Seriously. We're not kidding.