There are some things that you can change so simply and if you just stopped to think of the problem, you would see it. The problem with being with the same partner for so long is that you often forget what it’s like to sleep with other people. Oh, you might fantasize about it, but there’s no real feedback when it comes to fantasies. The person in your fantasies will do what you want them to do and you won’t need to think about their pleasure. So if you’re looking to start an affair you have to take a look at how you have sex.
Maybe you were a god in bed to your spouse back when you were having sex, but that all changes when you add another person into the mix. The areas that are sensitive on one person won’t be on another and while this might all seem like it’s fairly obvious, habits can get so engrained in our psyche that we don’t even think twice about them.
Thankfully, these are all pretty easy fixes.
So you want to know how to go from having good sex to having great sex in the simplest way possible?
Remember that your affair partner is not your spouse.
Again, this will seem like the most self-evident thing in the world. Maybe your spouse really loves it when you use your mouth, but your affair partner doesn’t. Your engrained sexual habits will have you using your mouth more often. You just need to remind yourself that this is a blank slate. This is your chance to learn a new person’s needs. We’ve talked before about how you can’t treat your affair partners like they’re the same person in bed. This is doubly true if you are comparing them to your spouse.
There are all sorts of awkward things that happen during sex and while we can laugh most of them off, some people might be so nervous about making a good impression that they won’t mention them. So say your affair partner has a cramp that they’re not telling you about. This is going to at the very least leave a dent in the experience for them so it’s important to keep an eye on what they’re doing and how they’re responding. Are they not reacting as ardently as before? Maybe they’ve got a cramp or maybe they’re just a little bit bored. Change up your positions and see how that does or try doing something different with your hands.
Don’t be afraid to speak up.
We mentioned the desire to please when it comes to affair partners. There are a lot of people who are looking to make sure that you’re having as good a time as they are and if they’re not having a good time, but think you are, they might not raise their voices to let you know. This is a dangerous and slippery slope, so make sure that you say something if what is happening hurts or doesn’t feel as good as before. You might feel like you’re ruining the moment or breaking the mood, but the more that you can enjoy the experience the more you’re going to amp up your affair partner’s pleasure as well.
Don’t let the lights be too bright.
It’s one thing if you’re having sex on a beach and you’re in the bright sunlight, but if you’re under artificial light you want to make sure that it’s a soft light. This will make both of you feel more comfortable and help to keep the two of you in the mood.