People generally have a pretty clear idea of what their ideal man or woman would look like. Those who have fantasized or who have put a lot of thought into this often find themselves able to judge quickly whether a person is attractive to them both in terms of looks and personality. This is especially true of people who are looking to have an extramarital affair. They have put time into thinking about who they want to be with and because of that, they're able to tailor their dating profiles to an incredible degree.
There are some things that we've noticed that people make mistakes with, however, and the biggest one is making sure that whomever you're having an affair with is nothing like your spouse. Now there are a couple pros and cons to doing things this way. One, we understand that you're looking for a change and you want to do that by looking for someone who is the complete opposite of who you're currently with, but the problem with that is you might not mesh. You are with your spouse because they have traits that are (or were) attractive to you.
What changed along the way is how you need to judge whether or not you should go looking for someone who is reminiscent of your spouse. If it was a career that changed them or having kids that made the relationship become rocky, then you would be safe going out and looking for the same type of person. If it's more because you've discovered habits that you don't like about your spouse you need to judge whether or not those habits are deal breakers or not.
Some habits are small and you'll only ever notice them if you live with someone in marital discord. Others are as noticeable as flashing neon signs and hard to ignore.
What is it that you're looking for in a person?
You also need to evaluate what you're looking for in your extramarital affair. If you're just looking for the sex that your marriage is missing then all that you need to focus on is what physically attracts you. People who are looking for sexual hook-ups tend to have the broadest spectrum when it comes to types. They are looking for something new and interesting which means that generally they're more open to trying affairs with people who do not look like their spouses type-wise.
If you're looking for a deeper connection, however, then you're going to want to look at your types and qualifiers very closely. Are you picking these simply because you want something different from your spouse or because you think it would be best for you? It's far too easy sometimes to look for the exact opposite of what we have when what we have isn't satisfying.
The faulty reasoning that if you're unhappy with what you have, something completely different is better may sound appealing, but in the end it might not be what you need. You might not need a huge change or overhaul in your life, but instead may just be lacking the few subtle differences needed to make the affair partners that you have perfect in a way that your spouse cannot be.
Remember that it’s unlikely to be all bad, there are only certain things about your relationship with your spouse that you wish to change otherwise you’d get a divorce. So instead of overhauling your type completely, pin point those things that you feel you’re missing in your life and search for those in your potential affair partners instead.