You’ve found yourself in a rut. Stuck. You don’t know how to get out and the walls seem to be closing in around you faster with each passing day. You can’t figure out where you went wrong because you did everything right, but the truth of the matter is that you were screwed before you even started.
While you may have made some mistakes along the way, the real problem is romance.
That’s right. Romance. We said it. Romance novels and those silly movies that you ignored probably have played a much bigger role in your marriage than you would think. Women learn their romance from these sources and there’s little in the media to convince them that they shouldn’t idealize their relationships with the men in their lives. Knowing the romantic fantasies can help you, but they can always backfire on you as well and some of these romantic notions are toxic to relationships, affairs and anything that involves two people who are involved romantically.
It’s the thought that counts.
Oh yes, this can be true and don’t get us wrong the thought is a beautiful thing. But thoughts also require action and if you don’t ever follow through no one is going to be impressed with your thoughts for very long. If you try to do something and it backfires, that’s one thing, but if there are too many failed attempts with no results to show for it… you’re just wasting your time. Wanting to see your affair partner or your spouse is great, but if you make the date and don’t show up then you’re going to get dumped pretty quickly.
Distance will only make you want to see each other more.
Wrong. The idea that absence makes the heart grow fonder is based in the idea that missing someone means that you’ll be thinking about them more. If the absence is short like a weekend, then you’ll find that you are missed. It apparently only takes three days to form a habit or a routine apparently and that means that if you’re away for too long, they’ll get used to you being gone. You want to make sure that you keep at least in some contact with your affair partner so they’re still thinking of you even when you’re not able to be around. Send a text or an email, have some flowers delivered. The sky is the limit, but you’ll be able to keep her thinking of you while you do your away business.
When you’re in love, looks don’t matter.
They do. They do and they’ve always done. It’s important to take care of yourself and while there are some things that women (and men) will let slide, physical attraction is a key part of intimacy so you’re going to want to keep yourself sharp. Love isn’t superficial, but you need to at least give it a shot or else you might find that you’ve been kicked to the curb for the younger, more attractive affair partner.
Love is all you need.
Relationships are far too complicated to boil down to a single aspect of them and you don’t want to be one of those people who oversimplify them. To do so is childish and while love can help you overlook many things, it won’t be able to make you overlook all the flaws that a person has. There are also other aspects to a relationship that can add stress to what you’re feeling in them. Work, money issues, family and friends can all add a ton of stress to what would otherwise be a happy relationship. Since we don’t live in idyllic little bubbles, let’s be realistic about love and its place in a relationship.