Let’s take a moment here to talk about sex and confidence. Everyone knows that there are people who are more confident in bed than others and that generally when people see that someone is confident when it comes to sex it will bolster their own confidence. One of the most important things you can bring to a sexual situation is your confidence and a smile. Well, there are a lot of things which are important such as condoms and the like, but confidence can really make the difference between a good sexual experience and a bad one.
Everyone has had some experience with a little voice or feeling in the back of their mind which sapped away their energy and self-esteem. Whether it was because you were comparing yourself to somebody else or thinking too much about what your partner might be thinking or just because you were stressed about all of the things that you should have been doing, this little voice can be deadly to positive sexual experience.
Confidence is something which can be learned although there are people who are naturally more inclined toward it. If you’re a person who likes to pick themselves apart for every little thing, this is the time to stop it. It can be hard to shut your mind off, but when you’re getting ready to do the dirty is the perfect time for that. If you can’t stop being down on yourself then ignore your own thoughts to focus on your partner. Humans have been proven to be horrible multi-taskers. So if you can force yourself to think just about your partner’s pleasure rather than your own performance, you’ll see a natural rise in your confidence.
What is the most damaging to people’s self –confidence is often that they over think and pick apart all the problems with themselves. When you’re thinking entirely about someone else though (and we don’t mean thinking about your affair partner in terms of how they regard you), then those voices in the back of your head are silenced. When they fall silent there’s nothing to weigh you down and you can just focus on the sensations between you and your affair partner.
A second way to boost confidence in a way that will be of use once you’re inside the bedroom is to know what it is you want to do. This is particularly true when it comes to exploring new fetishes and lifestyles such as BDSM. Fetishes generally aren’t something to be rushed into and now that the internet is making this kind of research easier than ever. With streaming pornography available as well as websites dedicated to specific fetishes, there is little that you can’t find when it comes to your particular fetish unless it happens to be illegal. That would make things more difficult.
If you’re looking to try something new, don’t rush into it blindly. Even with research on the internet, it is good to ease into new experiences slowly so as not to push your partner or yourself too far. The more comfortable you are with your new situations and experiences, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to bring pleasure to both you and your affair partner. Again, this goes back to the over-thinking argument where you won’t be able to enjoy your play as much if you’re too focused on what you need to do or how to properly tie your affair partner down then it will take away from the experience.
The last way to boost confidence is to be with a partner that you know that you’re comfortable with. If you’re going to do some BDSM activities with someone you’ve just met (which is not advised by most people in the lifestyle), then you’re going to be on edge. Having a foundation of trust or companionship when you’re exploring different fetishes and sexual preferences is essential especially if you’re moving away from the more vanilla sex sphere. Communication between partners is also an essential part of having fantastic sex, so be sure to have some candid talks with your affair partner either online or offline about what it is you’re looking for.
The more that you both understand about each other and your desires, the more easily those voices in the back of your head will be silenced.