Trust is a key part of relationships whether it's a marriage, a friendship or even a business partnership. Any relationship that you're part of has an element of trust to it and while building that trust can be easy, rebuilding it after a mistake can be incredibly hard. Trust is a fragile thing and once broken, it can be impossible to put it back together. The importance of trust cannot be understated here, trust in relationships is your bedrock and your foundation so once trust issues arise, you're going to be fighting a hard battle to get them back again.
The thing about being trustworthy is that it can seem easy to appear that way, but once trust issues begin to come into play that image is shattered. So what can you do if you are having problems with trust in relationships? Say your affair partner is getting fed up and distrustful of you, but you're not ready to let go yet… How can you build that trust back up?
1) Don't be defensive.
When you're being defensive, that automatically puts the guard up of whoever you're talking to. You might not think that you're being obvious about it, but believe us when we say that it’s noticeable. People tend to give off cues when they speak and unless you’ve got the best poker face in the world, you’re giving out signs that you’ve got your defenses up. Beyond that, being defensive makes your affair partner defensive in turn and ready for the fight that they know is coming.
2) Explain yourself.
You're not perfect and by explaining that you know that you're not perfect and explaining the struggle that you had with lying or admitting your failings when it comes to lying means that you'll be able to repair the trust in your relationship much more easily. If you can't come to terms with the fact that you made a mistake, then you're much more likely to make the same mistake again. You haven't learned anything and at the very least, even if you stand by your actions, you should know that you shouldn't lie again if you want to fix these trust issues.
3) Don't be dismissive.
You don't want to make this problem something that is going to break whatever relationship that you have with a person, but you've got to make sure that you're not taking it too casually either. Being too casual or dismissive about the problem that you're having means that you're going to find yourself getting accused of not caring about the problem that you created. It shows a lack of interest and more than that, a lack of compassion about your affair partner's feelings in this matter. They feel like this is a big deal, so you should too.
4) Don't prolong the lie.
Lies are hard to keep up with the bigger they get and if you deny it, giving them excuses as to what happened you're going to find that you're making the gap between you wider and worsening those trust issues between you and your affair partner. You don't need to go into great detail and until you've figured out what you're going to say and your affair partner is okay with it, you want to leave out those little details. If you look too closely at the issue you're going to lose the big picture.
5) Prove you're worthy of that trust.
Words are great, but in the end they're just words. If you want to repair that broken trust then you're going to need to prove that you're worthy of it. The trust issues might be rife between the two of you, but you need to show that you're a changed person. This doesn't mean that you need to change yourself completely, but say the problem is that you don't say much about yourself or will lie about your own personal situation… Start trying to be more open about yourself in small doses so the person can see that you've changed and slowly build that trust back up again. This can take months, but it will be worth it in the end.
6) Don’t put it off.
The longer that you put off coming clean, the more that the trust between the two of you is going to shatter. The importance of trust cannot be overstated in all relationships. You need the trust to be there for the relationship to function and without it, you’re going to find that nothing goes right and every move that you make is questioned. If you are being caught lying then the best thing to do is to admit to it or at the very least do something to address it so those negative thoughts don’t fester in your affair partner’s mind.