It’s easy to get a big head when you’re a Player and for once, there is no innuendo intended by that statement. When you’ve done well, especially in the beginning when you should be clumsy and tripping over your own feet, it’s natural for the ego to think that it’s better than it really is. A player might even think that he doesn’t need to rethink his game and that what he’s doing now is going to be enough for whatever he could want to get. You need to be realistic though since confidence is sexy, but cockiness is not and it’s a fine line that you’ll have to walk as a Player.
To be aware of not only his immediate surroundings, but the changing social mores and values of the wider world around him is something that the player needs to be more than just aware of. They need to put themselves under the microscope because if they don’t the world will do it for them and if you’re not a player who is aware not only of your strengths, but your weaknesses at well that bruise to your ego might never fade.
There’s always room to grow and a lot of players end up getting stuck in the same rut then blaming the females around them. There’s always an excuse, a veritable cornucopia of reasons why the player is not getting laid. The women are too cold, too picky, too bitchy, but you’ve got to take a good look at yourself if every woman is falling under these labels. If the majority is not enjoying your techniques then you have to look no further than yourself.
So you want to revamp your game? Here are things that will help you in the modern world.
There’s this idea right now that men need to be stoic and that grunting while shrugging your shoulders will make you the second coming of Kurt Cobain. Wrong. So wrong that we would reach through the screen and shake you by the shoulders if we could (curse you limited internet technology!). You want to seem like you’re laid back and/or a deep individual who the women are going to want more of, but in our current world where apathy is so common that if it were a currency it would be heavily devalued… people want to see a little bit of passion. We don’t mean that you need to gush and walk around bright eyed at the world, but women want to see that you’re connected to the world and that there’s something you give a damn about. Leave the apathy and the attitude to the teenagers who are trying to make sense of this overwhelming world. You want to seem like you’ve got a good handle on it.
Now we don’t mean this literally, but it’s a good tip to take literally as well, but if you’re going for the ladies in your grand affair, don’t piss off a certain friend group. You want to keep everyone as happy as possible which means not being a dick when things don’t go your way. No one is expecting a bright, ray of sunshine, but hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and you’d be surprised how quickly you’re blacklisted in a bar if you take the wrong tone with the wrong woman. Some of these women have been in the game as long as you have and they’re not the wide eyed lambs that they used to be. Women today are seizing equality by the balls and have opinions about the wider world. You want to get women? Respect them. Don’t just give them lip service or pretend to be a feminist. You have no chance of being able to step into the shoes of what it’s like to be a woman and all the grievances that they have to deal with while you don’t need to give these things a second thought. Instead, just be open-minded and remember that Aretha Franklin said it best. A little R-E-S-P-E-C-T is going to get you a long way.
Now there are a lot of men who will scorn chivalry these days and say that “oh, women want to be equals so let them do things for themselves”. Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat. Women are not expecting you to carry them over puddles, but holding out a hand to help her out of a car considering that she’s balancing on stiletto heels? That’s not chivalry that’s politeness. Opening doors isn’t chivalrous either unless you make a big deal out of it which would make you look like an asshole. It’s not that women are looking to be treated like Victorian Ladies with their delicate sensibilities, but a level of politeness and forethought never goes amiss. Some of what is classed as chivalry such as ordering for the both of you or very firmly directing the conversation are actually overwhelmingly misogynist things to do. Think of it this way; treat women how you would want to be treated if you were in their place. Simple, right? It can be harder than you think to get into that headspace because you’re so used to having things your own way.
Stop. Think. Score.