When it comes to one night stands, the information that we receive about them is a mixed bag. After all, there are many people who would celebrate one night stands, while others see them as the downfall of our society or harmful to those who participate in them. While there are ups and downs to any one night stand, to separate them into categories that are so distinct is a mistake. To try and categorize one night stands at all can be messy since they exist on a complicated spectrum. When it comes to relationships, marriages, and affairs, it can be hard to break something down into black and white, right and wrong.
The key to one night stands and affairs is to have a good sense of yourself before you start going out and having them. The reason that we get hurt or that we feel like our expectations haven’t been met generally is because we don’t understand what we’re looking for. Maybe you think you’re looking for a quick hookup or one night stand, but you want the emotional element in there and didn’t even realize that you wanted it at first.
Sometimes, it’s only when we notice that something’s missing that we become aware of how important that it is. So if you’re going to have a one night stand or an affair for the first time, you want to make sure that you’re in the right mindset for it. If you’re looking for some kind of emotional connection then you have to make sure that you state that from the beginning. Let people know that you want some conversation and not your traditional one night stand. Most people who have one night stands aren’t assholes. We’ve all heard of the story of someone who was a jerk, but generally, any slights are unintentional.
If you want to have a one night stand and be happy about it, sometimes you need to think past the sex. It can be easy for us, especially when it comes to affairs to think that there’s nothing more that we can need, but that human connection can’t be underwritten. Without the right mindset, one night stands can become depressing as they are fulfilling one need of yours, but not quite making the grade with others. Look at what you’re looking for in your life.
Is it just sex? Then a one night stand is for you.
If you’re looking for a rush of emotion or feeling, that “spark” as it is so often called, then your affair will generally be more long term. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to see the person more than once, but you might be looking for more of a connection with someone before you sleep with them.
One night stands can be hard to characterize. You can have a one night stand with someone you’ve known forever or someone you’ve known for five minutes, you just need to be sure of how well you need to know a person before you feel comfortable. Comfort and a lack of deep attachment are both key to having a successful one night stand.
Partners are important as well, but the signs that you need to look for are different. The basic rule is that if you feel comfortable with the person you’re with and feel 100% good about your affair or one night stand before you have it, you’re likely to feel the same afterward. There are variables, of course, but as a general rule, this is pretty solid.