Let's face it, potential dates will not jump on the hood of your car as you speed down the highway from home to work and back. You have to slow down, step out of your comfort zone and really put some effort toward meeting people in order to make the married dating scene seem less like a torture chamber and more like the fun it is meant to be.
But once you have an exciting prospect there is a whole new set of dilemmas. And delights. If you are like most people when you find an interesting person to date and to have an affair with, a billion questions tramp across your mind. Should I act as interested as I truly am? Should I try to remain aloof? Will it scare him or her away if I bare my soul in the first ten minutes? Should I pace myself and introduce my passions slowly?
Since there are plenty of married dating books but no real manual out there, these will continue to be legitimate and timeless questions. Unfortunately the answer to all of them is simply this: you have to trust your instincts with most things when it comes to dating.
However there are a few questionable aspects of the married dating scene that you can eliminate simply by setting a few subtle boundaries. To insure a comfortable beginning and attempt a peaceful middle while leaning toward a happily ever after to any date (especially the first date) you must have a strategy. Most people will agree the first date is the most awkward simply due to the fact you donít really know what to anticipate. That is also the great fun of first dates.
Taking the guesswork out of one part of the first date trauma (or drama depending) it is a great idea to simplify that first “date” by meeting for coffee during the early evening or mid day. Not only does that give you an opportunity to escape in as little as fifteen minutes if the experience is perfectly dreadful, it allows the date to last as long as it needs to if things are rolling along nicely. And caffeine can be as effective as alcohol when it comes to loosening tongues and inhibitions! (Read about our Coffee Survey)
One certain way of enjoying your first date is by being honest and attentive. If rejection is the one thing all humans fear the most, acceptance has to be the one thing everyone longs to experience. Be kind, courteous and respectful even if you don't feel the date is going the way you wanted it to go. Sometimes the person who does not fit our instant criteria is actually a genuine compatible affair match for us.