Who wouldn't want to be the cool, swaggering male that you see in movies? That natural born leader who has the world at his feet and all the calm under pressure that you would expect of James Bond is someone that we would all want to aspire to. Think about our testosterone laden super heroes, the wise-cracking, super strong geniuses who saved the world and got the girl with only a bit of bruising on their faces. You grew up wanting to be those people and the sad fact is that most guys don't know how to be one.
Those males who want to be assertive and confident often end up becoming assholes instead. It can't be helped, sometimes things get lost in translation, but here are a couple ways that you can figure out whether or not you ended up being that confident, charismatic leader that you've always wanted to be or some varying form of asshole.
So if you do these things well, then you're more likely to fall on the asshole end of the spectrum.
1) You seek the approval of others.
Bitch, if you constantly need others to tell you what to do or that you're doing well then you're nowhere near where you wanted to be when you were a kid. It's one thing to ask for advice or to just check to make sure that you're on the right track, but those men that you looked up to were sure enough of themselves that they don't need people reassuring them. They know they're smart enough, tough enough and (in some cases) good looking enough to handle whatever situation is thrown at them.
2) You put other people down for no reason.
Guess what? That just makes you a bully who hasn't moved much past beating kids up in the sandbox. You might have grown taller, but beyond that not much of the mentality has changed. A lot of the time when someone puts another person down it's so they can feel better about themselves. If their work is poor then fine, but if you're going out of your way to look for reasons to pick apart about someone then you're far too insecure to join the ranks of those shining examples of men. You can either tell the person what it is you think of them or learn how to be bigger than your issues with them and ignore it. No one likes a gossip.
3) It's never your fault.
Yeah, you know who you are. You're that person who nothing sticks to and no matter what the situation, there's never any fault that can be found with you. If you're not able to take responsibility for yourself and the things that you do then you're not an alpha male. If you keep shunting those responsibilities off onto other people then you're definitely not your childhood hero come to life. Learn how to stand up on your own. While you don't need to take the blame for everything, you do need to know how to take some of it.
4) Change freaks you out.
You want to be the best of the best? Well those people know how to keep cool under pressure and roll with the punches. Think of your movie hero, does he stress when there are explosions everywhere? Probably not. In most cases he is the cause of them. The male film hero lives in a turbulent world that is constantly changing and off-screen that would translate into them being ready for what life throws at them. We're not saying you need to become a survivalist and be prepared for any situation, but you need to learn how to roll with the punches and still be able to get back onto your feet.
5) You're a control freak.
There's a difference between being in control and needing to be in control. Those people who are always micromanaging aren't going to be able to deal with changes very well. Everything is too planned out and if one thing goes awry, you're screwed. Learn to lean back and relax, to understand that life is going to try to screw you without lube. You don't have to let yourself get screwed, but don't be surprised when the attempt happens. Someone who is not fazed by changes in plans or can switch fluidly from situation to situation is going to be a boon.