You’ll always see blogs on sex and wellness or relationships talking about spicing up your relationship by changing things up in the bedroom. Indulging and promoting in promiscuous behaviour is all well and good, but there comes a point when someone needs to ask if using sex toys in the bedroom or expanding your bedroom horizons is going to lead the woman you love to cheat on you because she realizes that she can do better. It sounds absurd, but many women use sex toys in order to feel the sensations that they’re unable to feel with their spouse or significant other. Sex toys can trump the feelings that fingers or a penis can produce within a person if they’re used correctly.
Should you be worried that someone you care about is spending more time with a vibrator?
No and if you’re so insecure that you’re worried about your significant other using a sex toy, then you need to take a good look at yourself. Sex toys are made either for masturbation or to enhance the sexual experience and when used properly can be fun for both people in the relationship. If you’re worried that the vibrator might be outdoing your sex life and that because of it, your spouse is going to go have an extramarital affair then you need to take the reins in your sexual relationship.
First, you need to see if your partner is enjoying using the toy more than they’re enjoying being with you. Sex toys are great, but they are definitely lacking when it comes to comparing their use to being with another human being. They feel good, but the feelings that they bring up are often different than the ones that are created when two people share a sexual experience together. There is no intimacy with a sex toy and no way to kindle those feelings between a sex toy and a person.
So communicate with your partner and find out what you’re doing (if you’re doing anything) wrong. If you feel that you are doing something wrong or your spouse simply isn’t as into the act of sex than you are the best thing you can do is ramp up that intimacy. When it comes to the power of a vibrator versus the power of your tongue, the vibrator is going to win. Simply because machines don’t tire out and you’re not going to lose that much needed friction to get you to orgasm.
The fact of the matter is though that even though machines don’t tire out, they also can’t cuddle and kiss. We’ve said before that for women, arousal needs to go beyond the body and enter the mind. To make sure that this happens, you need to engage your partner on a mental level as well as a physical one. The easiest way to do this is to make this about your partner’s pleasure rather than your own. If your significant other is the type of person who likes a lot of physical contact, then take the time to slow things down and have a make-out session before you get to the act of sex. Explore their body rather than going straight for what you know to be the erogenous zones.
Sex toys are functional, but they’re unable to recreate the experience that another person can create when it comes to sex. Be more vocal, be more interested in their responses rather than thinking of what you want from the sexual experience and you’re going to automatically become a better lover.
Then, you can start introducing sex toys into the bedroom so they’re not just used for solo activity. Use sex toys like vibrators in order to enhance your sexual experiences and to make the sex between you and your partner even better.