First impressions are always killer. The first impression that you make is hard to change once you've made it so if you make an ass of yourself when you first meet someone they're unlikely to give you that second chance to change their mind. This is especially true in a dating scenario where everything is put under the microscope so you need to tread carefully to make sure that you're not shooting yourself in the foot before you even get a chance to say your name.
When it comes to picking up women in a bar, the game is hard. They've already got their guard up because they're expecting assholes to hit on them. Oh maybe once in a while they'll be pleasantly surprised, but until that day there's little that you can do to make a good impression if you do the following things. While some women are more forgiving than others it's better to not need to apologize at all.
So what are the five worst things that you can do when first meeting a woman?
1) Go to her after striking out with someone else.
This should be obvious, but maybe some guys don't think that these women are paying attention. If you're looking for an extramarital affair and you're just going from woman to woman in the bar, you're just going to annoy everyone there. That means every woman you move to is further and further away from your first choice. That also gives the impression that you're desperate (and that's if we're being charitable).
2) Use a pick up line on her.
Whether you're a player, someone who is looking for an affair or just a regular guy if you're relying on the pickup line to get a girl then you're just going to embarrass yourself. Some of the tried and true ones like “What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?” are more successful than others, but you're going to find more often than not that pickup lines have you strike out in a big way. It shows a lack of creativity on your part and some pickup lines can truly be cringe worthy.
3) You're already expecting rejection.
Let's just get one thing straight. Being ready for rejection is smart and can help you to soothe your bruised ego, but expecting rejection is just setting yourself up for failure. You've been brave enough to go and talk to this woman you don't know so be a bit braver and think that maybe, just maybe you'll succeed. The men who are already expecting rejection are the ones who tend to become those bitter woman haters in the end and the signs are all there. Those slumped shoulders, the bitter quirk of your mouth before the woman you're talking to even answers you… Why would she get together with someone who can't have enough self confidence in himself to talk to a woman in a bar?
4) You're using the same method for every woman.
Anyone who is successful with women knows that you're not going to be able to treat people the same way. This should be obvious, but thanks to the proliferation of stupidity on the internet some men really do think there's a magic method that will make women want to date them and more importantly blow them. This is not only misogynistic on your part, but it's stupid as well. While you can have the same basic structure for how you talk to women the details need to constantly be changing and updated. The most important part of this system should be to be yourself because no one likes that nasty shock when they realize that the person they've been sleeping with is someone else completely.
5) You're not yourself.
This is particularly true when you're looking for a quick hook up or a brief fling of an affair, but when you're not yourself you're giving out strange signals. Someone who is being who they normally are will naturally seem more comfortable than someone who is not. Unless you're an actor of the grade of Joseph Gordon Levitt then you're going to want to rethink trying to be who you think a woman wants you to be. The reason? Most of the time you're going to be wrong when you try to be exactly who you think women want to be. Remember that each woman is different and that playing the part of someone else isn't going to earn you any points later on.