Long term relationships are hard and they take a lot of work. Don't let anyone tell you differently and if you're in a long term relationship, but find yourself missing that spark then the doubt is going to start up. Humans in general are prone to trust issues, but that's only going to get worse if you don't nip relationship problems in the bud. We all want to be able to trust our partner or affair partner, but experience has taught us that people are fallible. We know that we're fallible and how could the people that we're intimately involved with be any different?
While it's true that trust in relationships is a huge thing that you need to keep in mind, you also need to not over think things. It's the over thinking of a relationship that can stop you from enjoying the present whether that's an extramarital affair, a marriage or even a long term boyfriend/girlfriend. Here are some of the signs to watch for that will give you an idea of when it's time to end a relationship or at the very least change something within it.
1) You're not getting what you need.
This one is obvious, but there are so many people who suffer in silence because long term relationships fall into a comfortable position. People become afraid to step outside of their bubble and risk being exposed to the outside world. Whether it's sex, conversation or an emotional attachment if you're not getting what you need from a long term relationship and still wish to stay with that person you either need to talk to them about your needs so the two of you can solve your problems together or you're going to have to seek a solution to your needs elsewhere.
2) You're starting to get irritated more easily.
There's this whole idea that familiarity breeds contempt, but it doesn't have to. You need to have your own activities that the two of you can do separately so that you're not in each other's hair all the time. If you can't find things like those to do then you're going to start finding that you're getting irritated a lot. When you spend too much time around another person eventually you're going to become hypersensitive to what they're doing. When you realize that you're too attuned to what your affair partner, spouse or long term lover is doing then make sure that you've got some activities that are separate from each other even if it's just going out to watch a movie with other people.
3) Your communication is breaking down.
Communication is always a tricky thing and it can be hard to manage that balance between telling too much versus not telling enough. When you can't communicate at all or you're misunderstanding each other regularly, however, it might be good to take a step back and look at how the two of your are communicating. Is it the irritation from familiarity that is making you snap more? You want to make sure that when you're communicating that you're being direct. Explaining all the details or your own thoughts are less important than being direct as well as easy to understand.
4) You're avoiding them.
It's normal to want a bit of a break from your long term relationship partner, but if you find yourself looking for reasons to be away from them like staying late at work then you need to take a look at your life and a look at your choices. You don't need a sassy gay friend to tell you that something's up and when you would rather put in some extra hours at work than go home to your lover, you need a break. Maybe take a weekend away from each other or just spend some time on your own. You might find that you remember why you've missed them or at the very least realize that you need to find your own space.
5) They're stressing you out.
Your life is hard and no one is denying that. Stress levels are higher than they've ever been and we sustain that stress for most of our lives. Your significant other should be helping to ease that stress, but if they're adding to it then something needs to give. Explain to them how you feel about the stress and figure out if there's something that the two of you can do about it. If not, then some time away from each other or time doing relaxing thing like exercising, meditating and the like might be on the menu for the two of you.