Most people have been in some sort of relationship before and whether it’s a friendship, a marriage, or an affair, there are times when we need to know that it is time to pull the plug. We want to look at our affair partner(s) through a better light. Since they’re with us, we try to think better of our affair partners and our spouses. Those flaws that are so obvious to us are waved away because we are in love or lust or some form of intangible emotion that we can’t put a name to.
There are signs that you should pay attention to when it comes to a relationship that is breaking down and while it can be easier to break off an affair with your affair partner, a marriage can be more difficult. Keep an eye out for these warning signs and if you find a lot of these resonating you, it might be time to take a step back and look at your relationship.
1) Criticism is constant.
It is normal to have talks with people you are having an affair with about what you are looking for in an affair partner. It is also normal to make small constructive criticisms about a person (presuming that you are close with them) when they ask you for your opinion. But if there is a constant stream of negativity directed at you (whether it’s meant to be a joke or not), you’re going to find that your mood isn’t what it used to be. If the criticism just won’t stop, then you should probably look elsewhere.
2) Sex just isn’t as interesting as it used to be.
There is a perfectly functional and happy type of relationship in which there is no sex, but for a good chunk of the population, sex is necessary. If you are bored of the sex or not getting any sex at all, you are going to want to look at other options. Sexual compatibility and understanding is important. If you’re not getting what you need, then you’re going to have to find other alternatives whether that’s an affair partner or porn.
3) Functioning without each other is impossible.
There are couples who are clingy and that’s fine, but when you find yourself unable to function without your other half… there’s a problem. Being this focused on a person means that they’re responsible for your happiness and without having other ways to boost yourself up, your mood will crash whenever they’re not around or whenever they’re having a bad day. When you’re so entwined with a person that you’re unable to stand on your own two feet, you’re in a dangerous position.
4) There’s no real consensus in your relationship.
In every relationship, there is never a perfect balance. This perfect balance is also elusive when it comes to affairs. One affair partner will tend to make more decisions when the other. It’s when you feel like you have no control or power in your relationship that you have to start getting worried. Whether it’s with a spouse or an affair partner, you need to have some say in what’s going on because it’s your life as well. Whether the consensus is about sex, money, or even where to eat dinner, consensus is important.
5) Identity is lost to the idea of being a couple.
Being a couple, being a part of a unit whether it’s an affair or a marriage, is a wonderful thing. However, just as being unable to function without each other is not a good sign, neither is losing your identity to your relationship. You still need to be an individual with your own needs. If you find yourself changing the way you act or trying to rectify your personality traits in order to have them fall more in line with what your affair partner or spouse wants, then you are in trouble. Some change is good. We all make compromises for a relationship, but if you’re overhauling yourself to make yourself fit into a relationship, maybe it’s not the relationship for you.