While it's awkward to admit it in public, there are a good amount of people who like rough sex. How rough depends on the person, but you'd be hard pressed to find a person who doesn't like it at least a little rough. The key to rough sex is the passion behind it. As romance novel as it may sound, the passion is the key. When you're passionate and caught up in the moment there can be this drunk feeling that takes over everything else.
As much as the body is an important part in sex, the mind is where arousal is heightened. This is especially true when we're talking about women as studies have found that women get aroused by arousing their mind. So if you want to go a bit rougher then you need to get in the right mindset.
This can be hard with the way that affairs are generally meant to only last for a short period of time. The amount of time that you have to get to know someone is limited, but generally there are some things that you can focus on in order to get you both in the right mindset.
1) Talk about your fantasies.
If you can't talk about what you want to do sexually with your affair partner then who are you going to be able to talk about them with? It's often easier to open up to a stranger about the things you want to do since if they're not on board, you can cut contact without worrying too much about it. Talking about your sexual fantasies will get the two of you thinking about each other and creating new fantasies in your mind which will have you raring to go when you finally get the chance to meet.
2) Watch porn.
It sounds like a strange thing to say, right? Well if you're stuck on opposite ends of a computer with your affair partner for a bit you can either sext or watch a porno together. You can ask your affair partner to pick one for the two of you from the multitude of tube sites that exist so you can get a sense of what it is that they would want from this affair. Knowing what turns them on is a big part of getting the mind aroused enough that a little roughness can enter the picture.
3) Don't over think it.
If someone doesn't like something, they'll tell you and if you're going too hard you'll be able to tell that your partner doesn't like it by the reactions that they give. While it's good to ask questions before having sex, asking them during sex can kill the flow so you need to use your own judgement in this case. Alternatively, you can ask for feedback by making it seem like dirty talk. Saying something as simple as “You like that?” while fingering a person hard will give you the answer you need to continue.
It might seem like the most logical thing in the world, but there are some people who are shy about sexting. You don’t need to jump right into sexting and we wouldn’t recommend it, but by building up a conversation about what you want to do to a person and how good you want to make them feel, you’re going to have a lot of passion ready for when you finally get to act upon it.