We all know that there are some things that you just can’t get back from. Whether it’s saying the most wrong of things or hurting someone in a way that they can’t let go from, sometimes you need to know when that bridge is burned. Luckily, affairs don’t tend to be long term engagements and so if you burn the bridge on one of them, you can learn from your mistakes and move on. Even if you’re glad that the affair is over, you should always try to end it on amicable terms. This will be best for the both of you in the long run.
So what are these things that could burn a bridge? We’ve compiled a few of the most common ones, but we’re sure that you have some of your own as well. The more affairs you have, the better that you get at them. It’s like learning a sport or any other type of skill, experience makes you a better affair partner, but there are some rookie mistakes that a lot of people make so we’re here to help you evade those pitfalls.
1) Aiming for the weak spots.
If you know what a weak spot is, then it’s your responsibility to avoid it. We know that it can be hard, particularly in the heat of the moment but don’t let yourself become that person. You know exactly what person we’re talking about and trust us, you don’t want to become them. Instead, try to argue your way rationally through things. If you can’t manage that then at the very least, don’t resort to low blows. Focus on the situation and don’t draw in other things you know about a person into the argument.
2) Name calling.
Not only does it make you sound immature, but name calling is the surest way to put someone’s guard up. After all, when your only response to something someone says or does is to call them a name then you’re not giving them or yourself enough credit. Take the high ground. It might not seem like it pays off while you’re doing it, but in the long run it will make things much easier. Remember that humans form habits very easily and the more you resort to using crude language or name calling, the more naturally that you’ll default to that next time.
3) Making comparisons.
No one is here to be compared to anyone. Everyone wants to be accepted on their own terms and even if you think that you’re making a positive comparison, it still means that you’re thinking of someone else while thinking of your affair partner. There might be an initial boost to the ego, but eventually if enough comparisons are made they’re going to wear thin. Affairs are meant to be freeing and generally are no strings attached arrangements. Comparing your affair partner to your spouse or to someone else can feel like those strings are winding around your affair partner’s neck or like you’re bringing in your private business where it has no place being. Let it go and just be yourself without the baggage (if possible) during an affair.
4) Being defensive and lashing out.
You need to be able to take the good with the bad no matter what you’re doing in life and affairs are no different. People are not perfect carbon copies of your fantasies and if you try for that ideal, you’re going to find yourself disappointed. Very, very disappointed. If you become defensive easily or lash out at people for basically being human, you’re going to find yourself alone. People don’t go on dating websites to talk to people who are going to act like this and you’re only going to frustrate yourself with the lack of luck that you’re having.