So we’ve all known the guy who has all the right moves. More than that, they’ve had all the best moves and you’ve never been so ready to be throw your panties at anyone before in your life. They’ve got the winning smile, they talk like they’re a god come down to mingle with the mere mortals and look like every celebrity you’ve fantasized about all in one. You get to the bedroom, the lights are dim and then something happens. Instead of the perfect night that you’re expecting, there’s a fatal flaw.
Is this sounding familiar to you, gents?
Maybe you’re the guy that all the women want and then you just keep tripping right before the finish line. Get it up and brush it off all you want, but we all know that you fell and so does that lady that you’re trying to impress. For obvious reasons, sexual mistakes are the worst ones that you can make. We are opening ourselves up and making ourselves vulnerable when we have sex with someone. Nothing can kill a good night faster than messing up while in bed, so here are some of the top mistakes as chosen by our office and the ways to get around them.
You're a guy who loves asses or wants to get a blow job while the girl plays with herself and rides a toy. So you ask the question and the look on her face gives you the answer right away. Not only is she not into that, but she is turned off by the idea.
Now the best thing to do is to avoid this situation altogether by getting your affair partner to tell you her fantasies first. You can build off her own fantasies and slowly push the limits that way. If you go too far while building off of her fantasies you can always say “Oh, I thought you'd like that because you're into _____”.
If you haven't taken this pre-emptive action, however, you can still recover from this. You need to be very respectful of her and the first thing you should do is apologize. Don't do it profusely because you haven't done anything wrong by asking about it, but you do need to apologize and own up to the fact that you made her uncomfortable. Tell her that you just feel like you can be yourself around her, but this doesn't mean that you're going to force your expectations on her. You would never want to make her feel like she was uncomfortable.
Not only is it the right thing to do, but you'll get some brownie points for it.
Sometimes it just hurts when you move and you end up smacking each other in the face or one of you starts cramping up so badly that you can't keep going in the same way. Or there are times when she can use her nails and it just hurts. Everything hurts and nothing's fun.
If it's something she did then let her know that it hurts and later you can laugh about how much of a baby you are, showing some sensitivity. Don't let this break you because a strong man can move with the flow of events. Cocky is all well and good, but if your ego can't take a hit it's only going to reflect badly on you.
Sometimes you just can't control when one gets let loose. You're lying together with your affair partner and you're so close that you can feel each other breathing. Skin against skin, your eyes are closing and you're relaxing, relaxing, until you relax a bit too much and you let one go.
This is a mistake that is much easier to recover from if this has happened before. Then you just make a joke of it, probably using the same corny joke that you use every single time and she'll just hit you with a pillow. If it's the first time though, you're going to need to think on your feet. You could try being fake outraged and blaming it on your affair partner obviously making light of the situation until she's giggling at you. Remember that she needs to know that you're making a joke out of this or she's going to get angry that you think you can get away with that.
So you start talking and it you end up sounding like one of the Knights Who Say Ni or you start talking in pidgin Gallifreyan expecting that your affair partner will lap it up only to see the shocked look on her face. What? All the chicks love Doctor Who, don't they? Bow ties are so cool.
Well it's time to turn this into something positive by either making a joke about breaking the tension or by asking her if she's ever thought of what could be the most unsexy thing during foreplay. She could say something like bath bubbles and you need to let her win. Just let her win and this can be something you joke about for years later.