Unfaithful: In Alberta, it's cheating time again
Poll confirms our suspicions that outside the realm of art, true love doesn't always triumph

EDMONTON - The chocolate, guilt, flowers, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy that accompany Feb. 14 might go back to the third century, in Rome, when a priest called Valentine performed secret marriage ceremonies for soldiers. This angered Emperor Claudius II. Claudius had made it abundantly clear that he felt unmarried men were better soldiers, so he chopped Valentine's head off.

Even if all this is a handy myth and Valentine's Day begins with the invention of the greeting card, there are worse reasons to commercialize the calendar.

Our favourite novels and films celebrate true love. Some of us prefer romantic comedies like Pretty Woman and others go for romantic tragedies like A Farewell To Arms.

Outside the realm of art, however, true love doesn't always triumph. For many, it doesn't exist.

An Ipsos-Reid poll commissioned by Showcase TV to promote its Tainted Love Film Festival this week supports the cynics. Nearly a third of respondents -- 1,000 adults were surveyed -- said they'd been cheated on by a partner in a past relationship, with Alberta topping the infidelity charts at 39 per cent.

More troubling, 14 per cent of Albertans admit they would cheat on their current partners if they knew they wouldn't be caught. The national average was a more chaste seven per cent.

The Ashley Madison Agency, in Toronto, caters to these seven (or 14) per centers. The online dating service for attached people has only been running for a year, but it's already debt-free and profitable. In the contemporary dot-com business world, this is riotous success.

Who are these unfaithful cads? Director of Operations Darren Morgenstern is interested in what he calls a "psychographic" rather than a demographic profile.

"Our offering speaks to the human condition," he says. "We deal with the proverbial seven-year itch. When you're contemplating something like a secret romance, you want discretion and anonymity. These are just people who are unfulfilled in their relationships and want to find something extra. We provide that extra."

To show that weakness transcends income and social status, Morgenstern cites famous adulterers like Bill Clinton and Prince Charles. The moral side of facilitating infidelity doesn't keep him up at night. "People have been having affairs for centuries," Morgenstern says. "We don't judge anybody. It's not up to us to respond to people's feelings and emotions. If the hotel rents you a room for half an hour, they don't check your marriage certificate to make sure the woman you're with is your wife."

It's free to log on to www.ashleymadison.com, and to view profiles of potential affairees from across North America. At the top of the page is the tag line, "when monogamy becomes monotony." On the sign-in chart, you provide your age, height, weight and body type. If you see an appealing package of statistical information out there, you can buy an Ashley Madison membership and the agency will facilitate email or online contact. Then it's magic time.

"You leverage your odds in the same way as if you were in a singles bar," says Morgenstern. "It narrows down to people who have that chemistry. Even though you see someone's profile online, even though you know they're interested in meeting people, you still have to be courteous and polite. If you're a man, you can't think of these women as escorts or horny housewives."

Towards the end of our conversation, Morgenstern gets a bit mushy. "Some people, you know, they sign up and contact someone, and then they realize this isn't for them. They decide, right away, this isn't for me. They ask us to delete their profile. And we do."

As always, the infinite power of true love brings a tear to the eye.

© Copyright  2003 Edmonton Journal