Finding lover online easy

Bored spouses leaping from chatroom to bedroom.

WINNIPEG -- Having men, several of them, wanting to chat is what intrigued Rosebud the most. While her husband slept, she would sneak down to the basement and log on to www.ashleymadison.com, where dozens of men vied for her attention.

"It's like an addiction," said Rosebud, who joined the website dedicated to helping attached people find a sideline lover last year. "I began clicking on the Ashley Madison website at work, during the night, whenever I could get away."

Then Rosebud met the attached man of her cyber-dreams and made the leap from the chatroom to the bedroom.

"We met in a coffee shop and there was an instant attraction and spark," the married mother of two teenagers said. "Then we met one week later at a friend's apartment."

Soon the secret romps and discreet meetings divided her world.

"You have this ordinary mundane life, and then you have this other part of your life that is secret, exciting and fulfilling," she said. "It definitely fulfils a different need."

She's not the only one logging on to the website with the motto "When Monogamy Becomes Monotony."

Since launching the matchmaking service in January 2002, founder Darren Morgenstern has been stunned by its popularity.

"I had no idea. The uptake has been phenomenal," he said.

There are 290,000 members around the globe, 2,759 in Manitoba. And next fall, the undercover romances of five site users will be exposed in an unscripted television show.

"It will be a fly-on-the-wall perspective of someone who is engrossed in an affair," said Morgenstern, who just returned from Hollywood where he signed a deal with the producers of Last Comic Standing. Magical Elves Productions will delve into why people stray by profiling members during a five-part series.

Morgenstern said finding members willing to tell their story for the camera shouldn't be a problem.

"I've already had people calling me and I haven't even issued the casting call," he said, adding they won't take anyone with children or whose story could shock an unsuspecting spouse.

The founder is hoping the show will provide solace for other people struggling through an affair.

As for Rosebud, solace is just what she needs after her affair turned sour. She left her husband of 22 years only to get dumped by her lover.

"He bolted," she said. "For him, it was just sex. And I guess I started to fall in love."

There's plenty more where he came from, she said.

Desperate housewives and their executive husbands aren't the only ones having affairs. In fact, Darren Morgenstern said 70% of married men and 50% of married women will stray at some point during their marriage.

It is something that affects the majority of us," said Morgenstern, adding his agency does not promote infidelity but accepts it as part of the "human condition."

There are a variety of reasons people stray -- a cry for help, an act of revenge, or the realization that, for them, monogamy is a "shoddy bill of goods," said Morgenstern.

COVER TRACKS

A small minority, about 5% of ashleymadison.com users, are looking for a one-time same-sex experience, he added.

Morgenstern said a compelling aspect of this "human condition" is the length cheaters will go to cover their tracks.

But not everyone who cheats wants to keep it a secret.

"Some people have the intention of getting caught to put the onus on the other person (to end the marriage)," said Morgenstern.

©  Copyright 2005 CANOE, a division of Netgraphe Inc.