Say goodbye to the last taboo

HAS CHEATING become chic? With extramarital affairs sharply on the increase and with women now making up almost half of those indulging, it's seems to be a strong societal trend.

While this may anger and offend many, not to mention give a jaundiced view of the sanctity of marriage today, its also appears that, for many people, adultery is losing its taboo and stigma.

ILLICIT LIAISON

Whereas an illicit liaison was once a darkly secret activity sweatily hidden in case of detection, people are far more blatant and open about it than ever before.

This may merely indicate how much easier it is nowadays to get away with such bold behaviour; in our increasingly self-absorbed society few people take notice of what others are doing and care even less.

But a sure sign adultery is losing its societal taboo is that the media, reflecting what's happening in the world, are beginning to overflow with stories and portrayals of illicit relationships.

Especially on television, the medium that reaches into everyone's living room -- and bedroom.

Whether it's steamily featured on the new, popular drama Desperate Housewives or cruelly pursued via Cheaters, the reality show that exposes unwilling, unfaithful partners, infidelity is a hot topic.

And with another reality show being pitched to the networks by Ashley Madison, the Toronto-based dating Web site for the attached who want an affair, cheating appears to be going mainstream.

Darren Morgenstern, founder and operations director of Ashley Madison, says the concept for the show is to feature and follow consenting members of his site while they search for an affair or be filmed already involved in one.

The glaring difference about this show is that the real people involved would not be hidden or disguised in any way, but fully open and exposed as they pursue their supposedly-nefarious goal.

Morgenstern has just returned from L.A. where he met with network representatives who, he said, are "fascinated" about what they're calling a "docusoap" as it will be unscripted and filled with drama.

All people who agree to be involved, he says, are to be childless, undergo background checks and be in their 30s or 40s. He expects it to begin filming in the new year and be airing in about a year's time.

But, despite what appears to be an ongoing relaxing of condemnation to cheating by some, there's still the question, surely, of a very involved part of such a triangle -- the wronged spouse. He or she will not, to put it mildly, be supportive, unless they're equally busy in the infidelity department or have their reasons for ignoring such behaviour.

So why would anyone who isn't looking for a marital split want to openly broadcast their philandering?

Despite the adrenaline-racing sexual challenge and initial excitement of an affair, most cheaters still have a deep fear of being found out and exposed.

SUCCESSFUL VENTURE

Which is why the anonymity and esoteric world of the Ashley Madison Web site has made it become such a successful venture. The purpose of the Web site is shared and understood by everyone who joins.

Morgenstern says the people who sign up for the new TV show will obviously be those who've already decided they want out of a marital relationship.

"It will be the last resort of someone who wants their partner to finally recognize their unhappy relationship is definitely over," he says.

Sort of going out with a bang?

©  Copyright 2004 Toronto Sun