Web site caters to unfaithful spouses

"The next time you have sex it may be with someone else's wife...."

So reads the introduction to a new Internet dating site catering to "attached women and the men who want to meet them."

While ashleymadison.com began in Toronto in January, it's only been since July that local married and attached women-and their married and single admirers-have been able to sign on as members. A province-wide advertising campaign is also expected to begin this month.

Managing director Darren Morgenstern claims since July membership has zoomed to 10,000 in B.C., Alberta and Toronto. "We could see there was a real niche to be filled. We've really only just started."

Morgenstern got the idea for the site after doing market research and studying the history of infidelity. He found that about 60 per cent of men and 40 per cent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriages.

Historically, the number of men cheating has been greater, but if you count the increasing number of women having affairs on the Internet, and the fact that most available statistics are about 10 years old, the number of women actually having affairs is probably similar to men-about 60 per cent, he says.

"We talked to people who are currently having, or who have had, an affair. It seems to be people who are in a certain place in their life. The people who are joining this site have already decided to be unfaithful. They're just an affair waiting to happen."

Morgenstern insists his web site doesn't encourage or promote infidelity-it simply offers a safe place for women to explore their urges to be unfaithful. Sometimes a simple Internet affair with no physical meeting is enough to fill a void in an attached woman's life, he says.

"Remember, many women who have affairs are usually lacking attention and want to know they're being pursued by a guy who will do what it takes to meet them. They still want to be swept off their feet and feel loved, special and needed," says Morgenstern.

Members' ages range from 29 to 44, but the majority are 34 to 39. At 38, Morgenstern, who was married in May, fits directly into the demographic, but he isn't concerned his wife would use the site. "Absolutely not. We trust each other."

One member, a divorced 36-year-old animated graphics designer, joined the site at the encouragement of a friend's husband. "I was feeling quite damaged from a previous relationship and wasn't looking for a commitment, so I figured I'd check out some married men."

So far, she's chatted with several married men and has even had a few encounters in-person. "Of course there's been a few weirdos as well. One guy asked if he could 'test drive' the merchandise before we went out. I said to him, 'What do you think I am? A Jag?'"

To join the site, new members must complete an online profile. A classified ad to simply look around is free, but if you decide to contact other members, the price goes up depending on how active you are-prices range from $36 US to $400 US a year. Members who want to turn up the heat can post up to 10 pictures of themselves in a "private showcase" that can only be viewed by certain members with their permission.

Rick Okada, communications manager for the site, says male and female members are probably looking for different things, but the end justifies the means.

"Women want to meet someone who is really interested in what they're thinking and doing. And men-well, that's probably not so important, but if they come together for whatever reasons, it's working."

© Copyright  2003 Lower Mainland Publishing Group Inc.