Straying in safer way

Website plays matchmaker for attached folks with roving eye

It pays to stray. At least for Darren Morgenstern.

He's the brainchild of the Ashley Madison Agency, a profitable online matchmaker with a twist. Instead of pairing eager singles, AshleyMadison.com caters to spouses looking to stray from their better halves.

He's the brainchild of the Ashley Madison Agency, a profitable online matchmaker with a twist. Instead of pairing eager singles, AshleyMadison.com caters to spouses looking to stray from their better halves.

Plenty of attached Manitobans -- about 1,500 to be exact -- are using the private agency to "fill their unmet needs," said Morgenstern, the agency's operations director.

They either found the website through an online search or an out-of-province television station because the Toronto-based company doesn't advertise in Manitoba, he said.

"The market's too small and isolated (but it shows) there's a lot of interest there," Morgenstern said.

The website -- with its motto "When Monogamy Becomes Monotony" -- doesn't promote infidelity even though it's geared towards cheating spouses, Morgenstern said.

"We know that people who are going to stray are going to do it no matter what. We offer a platform so they can pursue their feelings in a safe environment where they don't have to reveal their identities," he said.

"We're selling the service technology so you're not hitting on your secretary or your next door neighbour."

Users can sign up for a free account that allows them to browse profiles of other straying spouses and send messages called "winks."

The real fun begins after they purchase credits that can be used to communicate directly with other cheaters, either in chat rooms or a private phone line. That's when the online relationship can be taken out of cyberspace and into the real world, Morgenstern said.

NOT FOR SWINGERS

"People that hit it off online eventually take it to the telephone and then coffee or dinner. If they like each other and there's enough chemistry they'll proceed to the next level or levels of a bona fide affair," he said.

The website launched in January 2002 now has more than 194,500 members, mostly in southern Ontario. Almost 168,000 members are male, with the average age about 38.

Morgenstern said the agency is there for spouses who feel they're missing something in their lives, not swingers or people looking for sex only. He suggested cheating may even help some ailing marriages.

"If a person comes onto our website and makes a determination that an affair is not for them and that they want to go back to their loving children and spouse then we've done our job," he said.

©  Copyright CANOE, a division of Netgraphe Inc. 2004