The Ashley Madison Agency

We bank by email, we download pop tunes, photographs and pornography, we even bid on Guy Lafleur's jock strap on eBay. So is it surprising that a Web site would emerge to cater to individuals bent on extramarital affairs?

The Toronto-based Ashley Madison Agency (ashleymadison.com), which boasts 13,000 members, even has its own corporate mission statement: "When Monogamy Becomes Monotony!"

This carnal clearinghouse is a telling indicator of our drive-through, 30-minutes-or-free society. Interested in fooling around but too busy to troll the bar scene? Simply log on and let your fingers do the walking to a cyberspace McAffair.

Curious about whether it is legit, I signed up a while back. Here's what happened:

After registering online, I posted a photo of myself (though that is optional) and then put together my personal profile, including a nickname plus age, height, weight, ethnicity and whether I was divorced, separated, single or otherwise entwined. Members are also asked to choose their affair "limits," which range from "Cyber Affair/Erotic Chat" to "Anything Goes." As far as desired activities, these are pre-fab selections but members can add their own customized wants and needs (many of which are too graphic to be documented here).

Then I set to work shopping for candidates looking for essentially the same things I wanted in the Toronto area.

The rules at Ashley Madison are that as soon as I initiate contact with someone, my free ride is over. The site works on a system of credits: Contacting another member costs five credits (instant messaging is 10 credits for 20 minutes). Like most things it pays to buy in bulk. For example, 100 credits cost $55; 500 credits are $150.

I had initially thought that Ashley Madison must surely be a front for escorts. As it turns out, it isn't, but there are some prostitutes using the service. A thirtysomething woman, responding to my profile, said she wanted to "make my fantasies come true," but once I took the bait, I was informed her companionship "is not free" - it would cost $150 an hour or $500 for the night. She also sent along some photographs. Like her "rate card," there wasn't much left to the imagination. I told her thanks, but no thanks. If I wanted a prostitute, I would simply cruise down Jarvis Street.

Two other women contacted me who told me their husbands had recently ditched them, and that they had children to care for but not enough income to make ends meet. If I would agree to buy some groceries, pay a few bills and perhaps take care of the rent, I would be rewarded. My heart went out to both of them, but the idea of substituting for a deadbeat dad is not my idea of romance.

Other women who contacted me simply wanted cybersex and had not intention of meeting me or anyone else. I declined those dalliances. It had no appeal, and in any case, I would be expected to spend my own credits to conduct these conversations.

Chatting with other members, I came across the oft-repeated speculation that Ashley Madison uses confederates to pose as love-starved women, stringing along male members and thus encouraging them to use up their credits. A customer service agent denies this.

However, one woman I encountered constantly sent me collect messages saying she wanted meet me. Though I told her "anytime," we never managed to connect - sometimes her husband is home, the other times her daughter is ill, once she even used that old chestnut, "Not tonight, I've got a headache."

A few weeks and $225 worth of credits later, I did connect with someone who proved to be genuine (if such a description can be used by someone intent on breaching her marital vows.)

Granted, she lied about her age and where she resided. But the nude photos she sent me were indeed her. And she assured me she was not an escort, which was also true.

Her story: She is in her 40's, works for a large corporation, has two pre-teen children and describes herself as a "hockey mom." She had a fulfilling and monogamous sex life but a year ago her husband inexplicably decided that he preferred "drinking with the boys." At first she was furious. Now, having discovered Ashley Madison she's adopted the mantra of "Don't get mad, get even."

Since Joining Ashley Madison, She claims she has received paid vacations offers for men living in "Africa to Australia and all points in between." But she tells me she has no desire to see the world. She just wants extramarital sex. Before our first meeting she reminded me, via email, to bring "protection."

Where do I go from here? My new gal pal says she definitely wants to see me again the next time she comes to Toronto (she lives 500 kilometres from here).

In the meantime, I have corresponded with other Ashley Madison members hailing from Ottawa to St. Catharines. One describes herself as being five-foot-eight, 175 pounds and having "enormous breasts." She's looking for something "long-term." The other says she is "toned and shapely, 125 pounds, and looking for "a quickie in a parking lot." Will I pursue an affair with either of them? Time will tell. In the meantime, I am grateful my car delivers superb gas mileage.

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